Read the Scripts
Auto-Distraction Madness
written by Charlie Schulman and Jordan Skopp
Lights up on Jordan Skopp, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans with casual loafers.
Projection: Destructive Driving.com
Hey everybody, I’m Jordan Skopp. Realtor, wanna be do-gooder and self-proclaimed Czar of Destructive Driving. Taking on all brands of in-car distraction.
Projection: “BRANDS OF DISTRACTION”
Human beings are easily distracted. Some of us have the attention span of a cocker spaniel. (He shifts his head like a cocker spaniel and barks) We are living in distracted times. A time of multi-tasking. Some of you are checking your email and texts or social media even while I speak. I don’t know how you’re doing it, but you’re doing it. You may not even realize that that’s what you’re doing. No one is immune! None of us. We’re all distracted. With millions of thoughts running through our brains all the time.
I’ve decided to dedicate this portion of my life to saving lives by taking on all brands of in car Distraction.
The answer to this predicament lies within. I’m calling on a group effort to make individual personal change. Every one of us needs to change and do something to improve in the struggle against powerful forces spending marketing dollars to compete for our attention.
We all have our idiosyncratic ways in the car of coping with this constant barrage of distraction. Is anyone keeping their cell phone in the back seat? Or out of plain sight? Are we too undisciplined to peek and put down the phone? Even at red lights? Absoeffinglutely!
I think maybe we are. We can not trust ourselves. To varying degrees we are all dysfunctional!
Every distraction is an opportunity for somebody to sell us something. Like on those radio sports or politics show.
Projection: “THE CALL-IN RADIO INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX”
“We’ve got Joe, from the shore, calling from his car phone. Watch out for that sixteen wheeler Joe.” (A screech and then a terrible crash.) “Next is Pete from Staten Island.” But seriously, Shouldn’t the sports radio hosts be instructing their large listening audiences, 45 percent of whom are listening in cars, to be legally parked when calling in to discuss politics or sports?
Projection: “Have you been CC’d”
And it’s not just the Sports radio Industrial Complex. All other CORPORATE COMPLEXES and content providers also want to take our attention away from the road and encourage us to drive distractedly.
Projection: “CONTENT IS KING”
Remember Quibe? What was that about? In 2020 they had two commercials in the Super Bowl. Quibe launched original programming only watchable on the phone -- the billion dollar media play crashed and fizzled faster than the 10 minute limit of original content you were supposed to watch. Seems they outsmarted themselves, drivers chose to indulge instead in the distracted recreational playground of HBO Go, Netflix, Amazon and Hulu.
All with the option to be watched on your phone.
Sure, you don’t HAVE to watch it on your phone when you’re driving, but you CAN. And surely these companies fully expect that a significant percentage of their audience WILL. These providers have collectively spent billions of dollars on content. Would it be a big deal for them to dedicate a small portion of funding to remind us to watch responsibly?
As for Verizon, T-Mobile, AT&T and others. Yes, my phone occasionally asks me if I’m driving. But only sometimes. What’s up with that? The message is easily circumvented by saying “No, I’m not.”
Projection: “DISTRACTED DRIVER AWARENESS MONTH”
March, 2021 was Distracted Driver awareness month for Verizon. Did any of you know it was Distracted Driver’s awareness month? I guess Driver awareness isn’t that important to them the rest of the year? The telecommunications companies all have websites that say “don’t be a distracted driver.” But why would anybody go to a website like that? They’re doing the absolute minimal requirement and their half-hearted commitment feels obligatory and is ineffective.
Who are they kidding with this phony charade?
I propose that these companies be called out for not being good citizens. The moral and ethical thing. Because let’s face it these companies have not shown any regard for public safety
Projection: A Commercial Targeting Distracted Drivers plays
Look at these commercials that are clearly targeting 200 million potential distracted drivers. Yes, it is difficult to believe. What has the world come to? They are selling cars that actually encourage distracted driving.
They’re paying ad agencies to come up with this. Look at the young women taking selfies while they’re driving? This kind of behavior should be discouraged, it should become unlearned, instead it is being celebrated as the norm.
Projection: “Do The Right Ka-ching”
Sports gambling is the latest craze in our culture of interruption.
Now with gambling on your phone and with money riding on the line, sports gamblers are getting notifications and distracted constantly about their in-game wagers. Talk about a recipe for tempting distractions. Now you can gamble while you’re in stop-and-go traffic.
The list of distractions like these are long, but enough examples, it's time for action.
I am creating a support group of like-minded safe drivers to stand up against “Destructive Driving.” Because lost lives and broken hearts are more than mere distractions. I know there are millions of us out there who just want to pay attention to the road, drive safely and arrive successfully to our destinations.
I hope that you will consider joining a group that is committed to cleansing toxic behaviors behind the wheel like; consumption of entertainment, personal and business calls while driving.
Millions of drivers like you and me need to come out with the courage to confront our better judgement and not be shamed. There’s no need to give into peer or corporate pressure and go along with this kind of disturbing behavior. When someone calls from their car. It’s okay to say. “I can’t speak with you now. Please call me when you’re not driving.”
Safe driving is something most drivers can get behind. Right? It’s okay for you not to speak to someone calling from the road. It’s more than okay. It’s the responsible and safe thing to do. Go cold turkey. No withdrawal symptoms. Enough! Quit while you're ahead. Give yourself an option to opt out of your own bad habits and feel damn good about it.
Pay attention to the road when you’re driving. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by phones or anything that will make driving more dangerous. You can change your behavior. You can change your lifestyle for the greater good. All you have to do is do it.
I have chosen to devote myself and my resources to starting this conversation, because, let’s face it, somebody needs to “do the right thing.” Let’s change the world starting now. And remember distracted driving is really destructive driving. I’m Jordan Skopp.
The Kardashian Komplex
written by Charlie Schulman and Jordan Skopp
Hello I’m Jordan Skopp. A Brooklyn realtor, social dogooder and Public Safety Advocate. I’ve decided to dedicate this portion of my life to saving lives from “Destructive Driving” by exposing all brands of distraction.
Not bad, right? I mean it could be worse. I could just be another well off jerk who doesn’t do anything for anybody, right?
Today I’m here to talk to you about the Kardashians. That’s Kim, Khloe, Kylie, Kendall, Kourtney and their mom Kris. A.K.A The Kardashian Industrial Komplex.
(“BRAZEN BRAND” cereal box featuring The Kardashians pours out into a bowl. The Producers and Kardashians fall out like raisins.)
I am here to tell you that we are being spoon fed some grade A BRAZEN BRAND in HD.
I’m just a regular basic cable watcher like many of you. I’m willing to admit from time to time I’ve watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Once when I was watching for a few minutes I was shocked to discover something that gave me pause. No, I’m not referring to Khloe’s hand-bag line. I noticed one of the Kardashians talking on the phone while driving. I thought that it seemed dangerous and irresponsible.
(Show quick clip of Kim driving while on cell phone being told by her publicist that nude photos of her have been made public.)
On a hunch, I asked an editor to watch Season One of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and document when a Kardashian was clearly distracted and driving irresponsibly. Ironically, in 2007, this behavior was not illegal in California. But even after the laws changed the Producers of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, in a total disregard for public safety, seem to have not gotten the memo.
Watching a few episodes led to the discovery of several more instances and eventually we documented 49 acts of “Distracted Driving” over the course of 15 seasons.
(Show super quick cut excerpts of all 49 acts of distracted driving)
Talking with the cell phone in one hand while driving with the other, in the first 15 seasons alone
(Show clip of Kris on phone while driving, asking about taking a DNA test to prove the paternity of one of her daughters.)
Is 49 all there is? No, there are probably more, but I can’t take anymore of this. You can sit through the next five seasons, create your own database and tell me what I missed.
(More Kim, Kiley, Khloe, Kendall, Kourtney and Kris on the phone while driving. Laughing and horsing around in the front seat.)
How disgusting has this been? We all have whiplash from watching this train wreck. This kind of Distracted Driving has been illegal in California since 2008. And yet since then we’ve continued to watched season after season of Kardashians breaking the law, modeling dangerous, unsafe behavior and needlessly encouraging millions of viewers who emulate the Kardashians to drive destructively. You would think the Kardashians, with their billions of dollars, would care even just a little about the health and well-being of their fan base. Well……guess again.
I’m not just picking on the Kardshians. It’s not just them. They’re just pawns in the game. Selfish, greedy and careless pawns – but pawns nonetheless. Kim, Kourtney, Kendall, Kylie, Khloe and Mom Kris. It’s time to right the wrongs. Maybe save some individual from untold suffering and mental anguish. Maybe someone’s mother or child? Maybe you could save thousands of lives? Is it too much to hope for some personal responsibility? How about some human decency?
How about it ABC? or E? Or whomever owns the show this week? How about it Producers Bunim and Murray? And Executive Producer Ryan Seacrest? They were the ones who have the final say about cameras in the car. They have chosen to ignore all my letters and pleas to do what’s right and encourage young drivers to drive safely.
(Show Kardashians driving distractedly)
The Kardashians and the producers of Keeping Up With The Kardashians have refused to acknowledge or engage in a responsible conversation about Destructive Driving and continue to demonstrate deadly behavior for their legions of viewers and fans.
Who am I? I’m just a concerned citizen. I have no origin story.
No relative who was the fatal victim of Distracted Driving.
I’m just an average person who doesn’t want to see people taken advantage of by profit mongers like the Kardashians and the producers of their show. I have spoken with parents who have lost children to distracted driving and learned there is no national movement to combat this scourge.
I’m now engaged in an effort to begin such a national group and I come to you to seek your assistance on a plan of action that begins to confront this and all brands of distraction.
What can the Kardashians, the producers of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and the networks that made many of millions off of the show and its glamorizing depictions of illegal distracted driving do to help save lives and stop acting irresponsibly for profit?
1) Initiate an educational program to show the dangers of texting and phone use while driving; C’mon Kim, Kourtney, and you so-called Special K’s. Is this really too much to give back just a teeny weenie little bit?
2) Add a warning label to all Keeping Up With The Kardashians shows in syndication or online that show illegal phone usage while driving.
3) Develop and fund ad campaigns and PSAs about distracted driving featuring the Kardashians.
The time is now to make a lasting commitment to educate people about the dangers of ALL PHONE USAGE while driving. Every day people are injured and die as a result of distracted driving. Every day there are new broken hearts and souls because of behavior similar to what is highlighted on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
It’s time to end distracted driving.
The Kardashian family and the producers of Keeping Up With The Kardashians should use their status as influencers to encourage their loyal audience to adopt safe driving practices.
Join me in reaching out to the public, to regulators, and to consumer protection agencies to discuss the problem of Destructive Driving, and its representations in popular media.
Whether we like it or not the Kardashians are influencers. They influence our Behavior. They are the new American role models. Distracted Driving is really “DESTRUCTIVE DRIVING.” Because lost lives and broken hearts are the real consequences of distraction.
Road Rage Radio
written by Charlie Schulman and Jordan Skopp
Hi there. I’m Jordan Skopp; Realtor, wannabee do-gooder and self-appointed public safety Czar dedicated to saving lives from “Destructive Driving” by exposing all brands of distraction. Not bad, right? I mean it could be worse. I could just be another well off jerk who doesn’t do anything for anybody right? You can read more about my effort to build a national safety movement at Destructivedriving.com
I’ve rebranded “Distracted Driving” as “Destructive Driving: Because lost lives and broken hearts are the real consequences of distraction.
Today I’m taking on the Talk Radio industrial Complex. Call-in Sports and talk radio is an industry that profits from unsafe callers “calling from the car” while driving dangerous roads with no regard for public safety.
Why is there is no decency in radio land regarding moral and safe business practices? Why hasn’t Sports Talk or road rage radio mandated that calls should not come from drivers in motion?
Sport Fans want to hear other sport fans. Program directors want to get them on. Keep them calling. Keep them coming back. I can just imagine red faced program directors screaming “if we don’t get these callers on the air we all can start looking for new work.”
The highly rated “Morning and Afternoon Drive” call-in shows with well-known drive time personalities know that the “regular callers” are the real stars “Frank from Staten Island.” “Tom from Toms River.” Without callers there is no sports or talk radio.
For these special VIP callers, can the barrier of entry be any easier? It can’t take ten minutes for “Gus from Syosset” to get on and complain about the last second blown field goal or the latest signing of an over-priced free agent. Fans ultimately do not care what on air hosts have to say. They don’t care about the round of golf they played with some lame comedian or where they had dinner last night. They want to hear from “Pete from Fort Lee somewhere on The New Jersey Turnpike on his way home from the game with THE KIDS in the back.” The industry is hungry for more regular callers. They are the brand of recycle, being used and reused, endlessly repeating the themes of the day.
45 percent of talk-show listeners, listen to their radios while in their car. And radio station have known all about this. The shows are even named “The Fan.” Over 47 stations in 260 markets are all named the FAN. And do you know why all the stations are called the FAN? Because the FAN is who they serve. And who IS the FAN? WE ARE! Who are the real stars of the radio program? WE ARE!
The FCC must be closeted FANS and listeners because for some unknown reason (pause) the bottom line -- they don’t seem to care about this issue because sports talk radio stations have never gotten the memo.
These radio programs that continue to have no regard for public safety should be suspended. It’s simple to identify callers in cars by hearing the crappy on-air connection. I would hope that people other than me are hearing this and are against it too.
The thing is they want the combative callers because there is nothing more entertaining to the listeners than hosts and callers who disagree. Sorry for those other drivers and pedestrians on the road once Frank is humiliated while driving in dangerous stop and go traffic on 50,000 watts. It doesn’t make a difference if Frank is wearing blue tooth or driving hands free - distraction is distraction. Destruction is destruction.
I used to be a regular caller from a landline, perfect phone reception and connection. Then Program Directors began to see a transition to increased cell phone usage. They know that callers are calling-in from cars and yet they refuse to adjust to the times we are living in.
Special time should be designated to educating listeners to the safe way to call into radio stations. Cigarettes and alcohol have warning labels. Why shouldn’t radio stations be forced to use a portion of ad revenue to educate the public about destructive driving? Let’s create a new normal of better community and business practices.
It is an epic failure that talk show hosts rarely if ever remind listeners and callers to remain safe and accountable when riding the airwaves of this multi-billion dollar industry.
No legacy honors should be granted to any host who takes part in this destructive radio talk show industry.
No one from the Radio Call-in industrial complex should be patting themselves on the back. Instead, talk show hosts should actively spread a new message about safety, and create a legitimate good vibe environment for calling into radio stations. Without regular callers there is no sports radio. They want more Frank on the car phone. And they want Frank on fast. Even if Frank being on-air endangers his own life, the lives of other passengers, other drivers and pedestrians around him.
I’m Jordan Skopp asking you to pay attention to the road and arrive safely at your destination.
Car Companies & Ad Agencies
written by Charlie Schulman and Jordan Skopp
This is Jordan Skopp, Realtor, Consumer Advocate, Wannabe-Do-Gooder, and self-proclaimed Czar of distracted driving.
I mean it could be worse. I could just be another well-off jerk who doesn’t do anything for anybody.
Instead, I’m taking on ALL brands of distraction in the name of public safety, common decency and some well needed peace of mind.
Today I’m talking about the Automobile companies and the Ad agencies that enable them.
Car companies and Ad agencies are conspiring to make cars more attractive to the distracted driver in high def. They are succeeding by giving us more reasons to NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD.
Have you seen any of these commercials for automatic breaking? These ads promote distraction and dysfunction. They literally demonstrate behavior that show us it’s okay to take selfies while we’re driving. They tell us it’s normal to be distracted. To multi-task. To not remind ourselves that what we’re doing is dangerous and life threatening.
These ads show us a library of stock dysfunctional driving habits that the distracted driver finds relatable. “Oh that’s me. EVERYBODY does that. Dangerous and irresponsible behavior is a fact of life. It should be celebrated! I can’t modify my behavior. I must surrender to my impulses and be the exact opposite of a safe driver.”
These ads are designed to affirm to the captive audience at home that they should continue to cultivate a total lack of focus and a joy for surrendering control over their own safety.
They tell us that we need our car to have our back because we’re too busy, too unaware to be trusted, too distracted reaching for the phone to notice the LITTLE GIRL CROSSING THE INTERSECTION.
It’s time for us to say ENOUGH! The automobile industry and the ad agencies have a lot of nerve to have made conscious decisions to manipulate and cater to the distracted driver watching at home.
This is the lowest form of advertising. The perverted, exploitative, showing off an endangered young child. The child that you are too incompetent to keep safe. But that’s okay you should encourage your own incompetence. Reach for your phone. Take more selfies. Your car will save you.
Did you ever find yourself watching one of these ads at home and say to yourself “Wow. See how that car stopped and saved the little girl at the intersection? I need THAT car instead of paying attention to the road. Let the child wander into the intersection. Because THAT can’t be avoided, right?
And it’s all done with slick, glossy, appealing scenes that have been recycled, in an effort to win awards for car commercials, grab market share and reinforce a false sense of security.
The car companies and ad agencies must use these tactics or they will all be out of work tomorrow and they know it.
Instead of being lauded with awards. The people behind the making of these ads should all get a one-way ticket to the HALL OF SHAME.
We need to keep the pressure on. These ads are driven by economics. The car companies do not have a moral compass. But WE, the last time I checked, regular human beings still do.
Maybe. Just maybe. We should not be looking at our phones. Maybe we can all pay attention to the road? We are all watching a mass manipulation take place. The worst of the worst of the millions and millions of drivers are falling victim to this con job. Why are we allowing ourselves to be insulted, humiliated and deprived of our humanity by the trillion-dollar destructive driving industrial complex?
Think of all the millions of minutes of manipulation that have intruded upon your home space. All the bells and whistles to keep you in your current destructive driving state of mind.
Is this the wild west of lawless behavior? Yes.
The Legacy of automobile and ad agency relations. Yes.
The auto industry and ad agencies are following bad business practices with this “keeping up with the Joneses” style of marketing to the consumer.
You too can be happy. The car companies are showing people just like you, possibly and carelessly committing involuntary manslaughter with their reckless acts and behaviors.
Why can’t they simply tell us to drive carefully and pay attention to the roads? These self-breaking cars they are selling are BACKUP SYSTEMS THAT ARE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE USED WHEN OUR GOOD DRIVING INSTINCTS FAIL US.
I’m Jordan Skopp. The man taking on all brands of distraction. Reminding you that Distracted Driving is really Destructive Driving. Hoping that you arrive safely to your destination.